


Where is home now?

by Panicking_Pan



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Angst, Danny Phantom-centric, Dark, Dash dies, Dead Danny Fenton, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Phantom waited and grieves for a century, but who cares?, pitchpearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panicking_Pan/pseuds/Panicking_Pan
Summary: ‘Who am I after you’re gone?’‘Why did you leave after you promised not to?’‘Life is cruel and so is death.’‘I’ll stay even after you’re gone.’
Relationships: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom, Pitchpearl - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Where is home now?

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this before starting an account on ao3, in our PitchPearl discord and just remembered it. So I’m gonna share it with you guys! Enjoy the hurt.

He has abandonment issues and craves physical touch, but refuses to acknowledge it because he feels like he’s breaking and doesn’t want to watch another person he let in die. 

He wanders from place to place because he knows that he can't remain in one area too long or he’ll get attachments and that would hurt him more.

He wants to cry, but can’t for it has been too much in the past and too long since then. So he just silently grieves and allows a glossy look to pass over his eyes. He disassociates sometimes, it allows him to forget. But it also causes him to remember the past and call for those long gone.

Humans believe that the idea of immortality is a gift of the gods, but they can never seem to remember the fact that it would mean others will come and go. Companions are merely replaceable, lovers will leave and lie, and family will eventually die out.

Rebirth is merely a way to glimpse at the idea and hope for being able to admire the world one last time, but does it really count as a blessing if you are worse off in this life than in the last? How does rebirth even start? Does a soul die and go through a judgement to see if you are worthy or do you merely make the choice yourself? What makes you worthy and what makes you unworthy?

But, who really knows?

All we know is that time is limited and life is not kind to some. You will die and others will too, rebirth will mean nothing if you are merely going through life again, but with different variables. Whether you are birth by rich, poor, kind, cruel; you’ll still die and consider rolling a dice again to see your luck.

Life is a beautiful, kind, cruel lie. And death is but the same.

Phantom learned that a long time ago when he watched the last family member of his die off too young. Death comes for everyone.

It only took a part of him sadly.

Phantom sits and just watches the world grow and evolves, while he remains the same — a constant. He hasn’t changed one bit, and that scares him just a little bit more when he realizes that he won’t be able to ever change.

He grieves still: missing his family, missing his friends, even missing the goddamn fruitloop that tried to steal his mom. But the one person he missed most of all was his other half. His human half. His humanity.

He sits and waits for his other half to return one day, hoping fruitlessly that he’d come back. Pushing every single doubt, truth, and fact to the back of his mind. Not wanting to admit or even imagine Danny not coming back. But on certain days, he’d hear it. A voice inside his subconscious saying;

_‘He’s not coming back and you know it. Why try and wait when the dead will not come back alive? Why continue to hope and wait?’_

On those days, Phantom just loses it. He snaps and breaks things. Walls, chairs, tables. Even going so far as to harm himself in order to get the voice to **_just shut up._ ** He doesn’t want to admit it. He doesn’t want to accept it. He doesn’t want to remember the sight of Danny’s once warm body, now cold, being dropped 6 feet in the ground.

He shook his head furiously, Danny’s just asleep. Danny wouldn’t leave me alone — he promised he wouldn’t. He said aloud, his sanity slipping more and more from reality as his grief grows and consumes him. He continued to hurt himself in any way he could. Slit wrists, drowning, choking, hanging, etc.

But none of it would work. It doesn’t end him. He just heals from it all, he’s not even sure if he can feel the pain anymore. In fact, it just makes him more desperate. It makes him slip even further. He was broken. He knew he was broken. But he still didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want it to be true. All he wanted was Danny back. All he needed was Danny back. 

He couldn’t deal with the emptiness in his heart. In his core. In his very soul. It always felt like something was missing, that something was gone. And it hurt. It ached. It ached feeling like he was incomplete.

_‘But wasn’t that what he is? Incomplete?’_

He thought to himself, as he stood on a building ledge over the city. His knuckles were coated in blood — no, **_ectoplasm_ ** _._ His hands were bruised, along with his neck. His wrists were aching as he stared at the thin lines on them, each coated and dripping slightly with **_green_ ** _._

He glared at them.

Anger rushed to his veins and thoughts, momentarily taking over his grief just for a bit. He didn’t want them to be **_green_** _._ He didn’t want that disgusting damn **_green_** in him. He wanted _red._ He wanted the very same _red_ that used to flow through Danny’s veins. He wanted to be human. He longed to die and be able to follow Danny. But he can’t. And it was all because of this damn toxic **_green._** He loathed the color. He hated it so much. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror or a piece of glass without seeing that very color in his eyes.

He’d shattered the mirror. He’d break the glass. He’d make them crumble until there was no more left. Until he could no longer see those eyes looking back at him. He wanted Danny’s blue eyes. He desperately wanted at least something that looked like Danny. Sure, they had similar looks, but their colors were pure opposites. 

His white to Danny’s black, his green to Danny’s blue, his tan to Danny’s porcelain, and so on! He wanted something at least purely Danny. And his eyes. _His eyes._ Phantom muttered repetitively in desperation, his anger leaving him and being replaced by grief once more.

Phantom slumped to his knees. The fight in him dispersing as he remembered those pure blue eyes. Eyes that were once so bright that it’d snuff a star out with a single glance. Eyes that were once so blue that it puts the very sky to shame. His eyes were always so warm when they turned to him. When they’d shined with love in every single crevice of those blue depths. He missed him. God, he misses him so much. 

Phantom softly grieved, curling himself into a ball on the cold stone ledge. His knees tightly pressed against his chest as he heaved heavy breaths, while his arms covered them. His toxic eyes glossed over with tears as he continued to cry out for his other half. He called his name over and over again. As if the very being that died years ago would suddenly appear before him, like an angel he always thought the other was. But he didn’t. He didn’t come. He left him. And Phantom felt ice crawl into his veins as he finally accepted the truth. 

His humanity had left a long time ago, and he was never coming back. He knew that. He unconsciously realized from the very first time he took a life. It was that blonde brat’s fault that his human was dead. It was his fault that Danny never returned to him no matter how much he yearned for him. So he decided to snuff out his pathetic light. After all, why should his other half die and he gets to live? So he killed him. Phantom had stood over that blonde monster’s body and laughed. He laughed when the brat pleaded why and for mercy. He was in near hysterics when he blasted the brat’s red varsity jacket to smithereens. He was stone cold when he watched the blonde’s heart stop. He didn’t react. He simply looked at the body before looking at his hands. He noted all the red blood staining his once white gloves from the splatters of his ectobeam hitting its prey. He watched as it dripped onto the dead grey face below him. He watched as the teen’s blood from his hands dropped right back onto its owner’s face.

And he smiled. Because the killer was dead. And he knew that if Danny were still alive, he would forgive him, right? He’s his other half after all, so he had to forgive him. He had to. Because Phantom needed that one piece of reassurance that he’ll never get. But, that was fine. Because if he can’t die with Danny, why not just stay with him? 

Phantom smiled at the genius thought. His mouth smiling a wide insane grin, his toxic **_green_** eyes glinting maniacally. Phantom slowly stood up once again, he took one last look at the city lights and passerbys, before flying away. It was time to go home.

And to home he went. He made it back to Amity Park. He slowly floated his way to his destination, ignoring the calls of the other ghosts who he had left behind. Ignoring their questions, they weren’t important to him after all. Why should he answer? Why should he answer _“why did he come back?”_ Or _“where did he go?”_ It didn’t matter at all, because in the end he was going home. He smiled happily, but there was just something so ominous and dark that it caused the other ghosts to pause in their pursuits. 

But Phantom paid them no mind as he continued to make his way to the cemetery, smiling gleefully as he did so. 

Mechanically, he made his way to the one gravestone that he always visited without fail in the past century. Daniel James Fenton’s. 

He stopped in front of the gravestone, before turning himself intangible. He softly lowered himself through the cold muddy ground, until he was inside Danny’s coffin. Phantom smiled before laying down beside his other half. He closed his toxic **_green_ **eyes to the world and embraced the darkness. The voice falling quiet for once. 

He was home. And he was okay with that.

  
  



End file.
